My interest in vending machines began a very long time ago. But I gave that feeling a name one afternoon at the Columbia Business Library in Uris Hall sometime in the spring of 2019. Below is an image of a vending machine that resembles the vending machines they have there.
These vending machines have very sophisticated snacks in them, such as cans of tuna fish, Dole fruit cups with syrup and little wooden spoons, and ham sandwiches wrapped in plastic. The platforms rotate to provide you the food, much like a lazy susan with cakes on it in a diner.
Something about seeing a perfectly sized snack in a perfectly sized wedge of a special plastic circle that moves makes me feel deeply satisfied.
This brings me to vending machines as a concept. Vending machines feel delightful because they exist to provide little treats in a very fun way with no human contact. You get to use a machine with a hilariously old computer (although high-tech vending machines exist!), feel big number buttons click under your fingers, and watch as the parts unwind to deliver you your food. My favorite vending machines are the ones that have a huge window and let you see the food or drinks come down. These machines use gravity, pulleys, levers, screws, every simple machine. It’s a small ritual that involves only one human soul but a lot of kinetic energy, almost none of which you provide yourself. It’s a little show; its act probably designed years before you order your snack.
The portions in a vending machine are very controlled. The amount of c-words (calories) you are eating is right there on the label, and it’s all very contained within the sealed package. When you’re done, you’re done. That’s snacktime. One dollar for one bag of veggie chips for about 3 minutes of snacking. 2nd floor. B10. When I imagine what I’m going to eat later in the day, a vending machine is the most convenient way of meeting my expectations exactly.
Another one of my favorite vending machines at Columbia is the Mudd basement coffee vending machine. For $1.00, you could have a hot coffee in a variety of flavors (mocha, white chocolate, vanilla). Plus, it gives you a cool cup that was “deck of cards” themed (?). To add sugar, you have to fill a digital bar before you pressed your flavor. The cup would come down first, and then you could watch the coffee pour through. Then you’d grab it, releasing the top of the cup from the grip of the machine. See below.
Vending machines are one of the few ways to escape the social aspects of eating. When I was working at Lamont, I always ate alone. I loved it. Before COVID, the cafeteria mess hall was full of people, and had lots of huge tables where geologists could get together and talk isotopes and foraminifera. But I came on board right as things left lockdown. We ordered our food from the cafeteria through an app, and when we got there it would be waiting on a table. Everyone brought their food back to their offices except me. I sat at one of the big tables in the empty cafeteria. Before I was on campus for Spring of 2021, I was driving to Lamont from my home in Queens where I was quaratining twice a week, about 2 hours round trip. I would bring a hot drink and a Kind bar on those mornings, and spend 5 minutes in the car eating before heading inside. I loved the predictability. I loved the safe choices. Is it an almond honey morning? Or chocolate cherry?
Far away from the cafeteria, there were these big vending machines in the entrance to the CORE Lab. That’s where I would wait for the bus to take me back to campus. I think I ordered food from it once, when I was really hungry. I liked seeing it. I liked knowing that if I was ever hungry before leaving to campus, something would be there.
COVID took a toll on vending machines. People weren’t going to public places so much, and they certainly weren’t eating there. Another favorite eating spot of mine on campus was the Uris cafeteria. In the Spring, I tried going back.
My friend Chris and I did find some functional vending machines at Columbia during that time, and a coffee machine!
But the coffee machine gave him hot water that was lightly tinted brown. I guess no one had refilled it in a while.
I wanted to see every vending machine on campus. But it didn’t happen that way. It was freezing cold, we all had too much work to do to graduate, and most buildings were not as easy to get into as they used to be. I was delighted by the odd snacks in the vending machines, like the oreo brownie and jalepeno Fritos. Who’s choosing the weird snacks? Do vending machines catch you buying a snack at a desperate time, therefore you’re more likely to eat something new rather than nothing at all? Or do vending machines encourage a sense of whimsy that allows for more adventurous decision?
I returned to the Business Library to finally eat a vending machine fruit cup.
It was empty, and baracaded by a lot of chairs. It was turned off. I asked around about it, and emailed randos to see if it would ever be filled again.
This was the email I got back on March 22nd, 2021.
Emma,
As mentioned in my other email, the Columbia University Libraries need to follow New York State guidelines that include the wearing of face-coverings by patrons and staff within library spaces. This requirement means that Watson Library can no longer be allowed to let patrons eat within the Library since face-coverings would need to be kept on. The operators of the vending machines were instructed to empty their stock at the start of the Fall 2020 semester, and the machines were blocked off. At this time, the Library does not have a timeframe for when food might be allowed in our spaces again.
There are still working vending machines located in the Uris Deli on the east side of the ground floor or Uris Hall. Food cannot be eating within Uris Deli, but can be taken out to the terrace or outside Uris Hall to a designated eating area.
I haven’t followed up, because it seemed so final at the time. I haven’t seen a Columbia post 2020 where eating in communal settings was allowed. I graduated, and Columbia wasn’t doing indoor dining. I haven’t even gone back to campus since my “ceremony” in April 2021.
I don’t know what it’s like to not think about food that much. When I don’t know what or when I’m going to eat, I get really stressed out. Lately, I’ve been taking a LOT of joy from packing my lunches for work. Work feels so much better now that I’m looking forward to a meal I prepared myself during the day. But I don’t really have the choice to treat myself, so I don’t. When I work from home, and no one is around, I try to eat as little as possible. When I’m around other people, I eat a lot, because I’m afraid of them noticing that I don’t want to eat. For people who don’t trust themselves around food, a snack can turn in to a binge, or it can be a source of dread and confusion. Vending machines are really nice because they take the power out of your hands, and give you your allotted snack without having to ask for it from someone else.
A vending machine is a meditation on snacks. The snack exists in a physical space, in contrast with the other snacks by color and size. You have to make a concious choice to eat something, and commit to it by inserting your cash, pressing a button, and passing the point of no return. It moves before you, reminding you of the process that all food takes to get to you. And you have to be patient as the machine cranks the M&Ms out of their slot. It feels good to eat a snack that feels like I decided to eat it, and not because I’m anxious or trying to navigate a social situation. And aren’t vending machine snacks always so damn fun?