Why Go To A Chain Restaurant?

Does one need a reason to enjoy the beauty of a Red Lobster?

New York City has some of the best food in the world. But that didn’t stop my family from visiting TGI Friday’s when I was a kid.

In fact, some of my fondest childhood memories were at either TGI Friday’s, Outback Steakhouse, or Chick Fil A. We also loved Panera and Boston Market—crowd-pleasing takeout in our household. For my sister’s most recent birthday, her only wish was to go to The Cheesecake Factory at Queens Center Mall, and we did.

When I talk to people who aren’t from here, they seem surprised that New Yorkers would openly say they “love” The Cheesecake Factory like I do. Why would I, a New Yorker, develop and affinity for chain restaurants if I’m surrounded by some of the most unique and respected food scenes in the world 24/7? I dunno, why do people forgo watching Succession for Emily in Paris?

I understand my tastes are a little predictable at this point, but don’t take it from me. I started having conversations with friends—transplants and locals—about chains. Chain restaurants, it seems, are popular everywhere. When discussing them, everybody seemed to fondly bring up their childhood, comfort foods, and unusual memories that can only occur in such liminal spaces.

At a certain point, chain restaurants appeared to be under threat. Between Red Lobster’s catastrophic endless shrimp deal, public tastes turning more health conscious, and inflation causing discounts to disappear, it looked like maybe the chain was going the way of the dodo. But things change, and if the most recent election proved anything, it’s that people are tired of having taste.

Below I present a summary of my research findings, acquired through qualitative investigation.

Some chain restaurant favorites that came up through my conversations with friends:

Lizard’s Thicket

This is a restaurant chain that is exclusively in the Columbia, SC area. They sell biscuits, candied yams, and chicken dumplings. They DON’T sell dinner, they sell supper. The waitress wouldn’t let me order my dish without gravy on it, even though I tried to convince her I didn’t want any.

Pizzeria Uno

Pizzeria Uno is like if Domino’s had any shame. It turns out I’m not the only one that treasured the freedom of “making my own personal pizza” as a child at that restaurant! For some, it was a the place they’d go after seeing a movie. According to the Chicago Tribune, at the time of its founding in the ‘40s it was supposed to be a Chicagoan taco restaurant, but the food was so gross it poisoned one of the founders. Thank God we ended up with Chicago-style pizza, instead of whatever abomination Chicago-style tacos would have been. We’ll never know.

Dan Ryan’s

Dan Ryan’s Chicago Grill is a restaurant chain started by American expats in Hong Kong, and I spoke to a friend who loved visiting it as a child growing up in Singapore. It apparently had a train circling the bar, and its online menu has impeccable food styling. Rest in peace Singapore Dan Ryan’s, which closed in 2021.

Chi-Chi’s

According to Wikipedia, Chi-Chi’s is “a defunct Mexican food restaurant chain founded in the United States in 1976, which continued in Europe only as a single restaurant after the North American owner declared bankruptcy and folded in 2004.” It later transformed into a salsa brand. Although its return has been ominously heralded…

The Salt and Pepper Diner

The Salt and Pepper Diner, of John Mulaney fame, is a Chicago chain restaurant. However, the funniest thing that happened there is not Mulaney playing “What’s New Pussycat” 21 times, but this:

Thank you for sharing Ruby

Honorable Mention: Bertucci’s

While we’re on the subject of jokes, Chris Fleming has a perfect joke where he defines manhood through the way a person behaves at a Bertucci’s, the Massachussetts restaurant chain that serves Italian fare.

“My concept of a man is someone who whacks their elbow at a Bertucci’s and has no hangups about FREAKING. OUT. Zero qualms about going full Streetcar Named Desire at a Bertucci’s at 2pm.”

Field Trips

We went to many chains in the past few months, all trips instigated by yours truly. I haven’t visited restaurants like these in quite some time, and I was prepared for utter disappointment. However, as I’m so inclined to be, I was charmed.

Thank you to everyone who journeyed with me to these places, three of which were in the state of New York. Open invite to Chili’s anytime

The illusion of abundance is still something that draws in the crowds. A few years ago, I might have felt the need to critique that desire, but now, a gigantic salad at Olive Garden is something that makes my worried head feel calm amidst bigger fish to fry. A general feeling of instability, economic insecurity, and political betrayal makes these cookie-cutter restaurants a place to invite routine and familiarity, as opposed to continually risking unexpected disappointment. I believe that nothing can hurt me in a Chili’s, and if it does, I can sue. Unlike so many other places in our world, justice can be served at a Chili’s.*

*Perhaps this is why Waffle House still has customers. At Waffle House, justice will be served, and order will be maintained. We are desperate to be tamed in a lawless world, so we flock to the Waffle House where we are given our due. Maybe the food at Waffle House is part of the punishment we seek.

When I think about these restuarants in my head, the quality of the food (OK, at best) is a fuzzy picture. But, taking the focus off the food does allow one to focus on another crucial resource—company. As many essayists from the bonafide coastal elite have pointed out, eating alone has become more popular in the past quarter century. Loneliness in general has spiked so badly that the US surgeon general wrote an advisory on its health consequences. But these “family restaurants” are built to withstand large parties and feed groups for a pretty good price. They have lots of shareable foods, and are usually big enough to fit way more patrons than a typical New York restaurant. And, when I order from their corporate-approved menus, I become connected with the many people who have eaten and at least tolerated the exact same thing I’m about to have.

It’s a little bleak to say that because the world is scary we need more Olive Gardens to give us some semblance of expectations that won’t be upended. But I also think it’s bleak to live in a world where everything is supposed to be amazing, all the time.

In Fall 2024, I ate at a lot of chain restuarants with my friends. I also visited many of them for the first time in a while, and we bonded over root beer floats and southwestern-style salads and gluey mac-and-cheese. I got to know small towns by asking around which Golden Corral was least sus, filmed my first TikTok in Chili’s (of which I will spare you all the link), and got so drunk at an Applebee’s that I fell on the street. Wherever you go, there you and a chain restaurant are.

A conversation with a genuine Chili’s stan:

Is the great Chili’s comeback a sign of dark times outside its doors? I decided to ask an expert.

My friend Spencer is from Jacksonville, Florida, and his favorite restaurant is Chili’s. He’s been saying this long before it was cool, including when it was very uncool. He’s been to Chili’s for his birthday three times, and it’s a part of his brand. In the following conversation, we talk about his history with Chili’s, why it’s his favorite, and what his order is.

Spencer at Chili’s for his birthday, and the kidnapping that preceeded it.